Esteemed readers! I’ve sat on sharing this for a little while, mainly because I was bloody embarrassed. Now several months post incident I am very much over it and have decided to share my plight - Because one persons confession is another persons gold!
This story started at the back end of summer 2024 when stressed, trying to build my business and playing the ‘victim’ card like my life depended on it, my digestion froze and I got constipated.
Come fibre or water that shit did not budge ( pun wholeheartedly intended), and after a month and a half of this I started to notice the tell tale signs of an anal fissure ( a bit of blood and a bit of a sting post poo ) , which fast evolved into a haemorrhoid, (a lot of blood followed by throbbing of my rectum that lasted at the minimum 20-30 minutes).
I had never before experienced this and I didn’t like it - especially being a health practitioner. I changed my diet, spent at least 30 minutes at a time trying to pass a stool without pushing, manually treated myself, got treated by a friend and fellow osteopath and still lots of blood in the loo with each very painful and very slow attempt at pooping.
This lasted for several months. Then winter came, I went to India for a wedding and then flew from there to the Maldives where I work in a top luxury resort for 2 month doing what I love.
2 weeks in and my symptoms evaporated into nothingness. No blood, no pain, no constipation.
This intrigued me, I kept pondering the changes in my life variables. Things like - I’m in nature, I’m less stressed, I’m swimming in Mother Natures own magnesium bath, I’m having a few massages from my very talented colleagues. My food is probably a little worse off, water is the same but the main thing was definitely less stress.
Then I returned back to London and within 2 weeks full blown symptoms again but this time without the constipation. So I did what I would usually do, what any normal person would do, and couldn’t believe it had taken me an age to actually do - sat in meditation and had a conversation with my asshole and colon to see what was up.
And here is what I learned in a nutshell.
I had been living in a deep deep fear and scarcity in regards to money.
My root ( energy centre around the perineum, all to do with the feeling of security and safety) was blocked like crazy and the continual unconscious and conscious reaction to money going in and out was having an effect on my anus!
I was literally holding onto my shit! The crippling internal anxiety about my income froze my digestive capabilities- hint if you’re in fight or flight your body is not going to prioritise digestion, not to mention the high levels of cortisol for extended periods of time that impact your metabolism and also your gut flora.
I was trying to desperately hold onto what I had because of a reluctance to give- which energetically also affected my bodily function of releasing bodily waste!
Until I worked with my belief system I’d created, I was going to have to live with a pain in my ass.
Solutions!
The Teabag on the asshole : I was and still am a lover of plants and in my research to develop a range of delicious and potent teas that will support the women that have treatment with me I found out that there is something in a tea bag ( of normal tea) that is incredibly helpful with haemorrhoids. So having an abundance of these at home, I boiled up a bit of water, tossed the teabag in and then effectively popped that teabag on my asshole. And you know what, It helped! The heat is soothing and it nearly immediately reduced the amount of throbbing and pain I was experiencing. I went from having to be in childpose after each stool passage to being pretty comfortable!
Meditation : In my practice I work on people using craniosacral therapy. I’ve noticed that in my meditations, just like when I practice on others when I deeply connect with my own energy I can move though areas of energetic stagnation and clear / move it. Working with this technique, I pulled an old, dry what felt like a spike that was lodged in my ass! Fun hey!
Mindset : My mindset surrounding money and income had to change. I’m a big fan of Tony Robbins and the work he does. It has probably been one of the most useful things I’ve done to actually create a change in myself. I had before going away to India did his ‘gateway’ seminar called UPW so was already resourced with some techniques that I just doubled down on to support myself with how i felt about income.
I am pleased to say that my asshole is very much teabag free these days :)
